"Re-conversing"

I've just spent the last couple of hours having a very draining conversation with my mom. She's going to have her first visit from a home support worker next week (kind of a trial run leading up to me and AC going back home for a week), and she's very confused about it.

We've had this same conversation a couple of times already, and unfortunately she never remembers it. I've started to call this "re-conversing" (having the same conversation over and over again because previous memory of it doesn't stick). Although the conversation was extremely convoluted, I think I have been able to glean what her main concerns are.

Primarily, she wonders why it is even necessary to have home support. The reason is to monitor her safety and wellbeing. We need to know that if she is left alone during the day that she has been eating, taking meds (if/when any become prescribed), hasn't left the stove on or wandered off in confusion, etc. When I re-explain that she seems to sort of understand, but she starts to run a zillion "what-if" scenarios in her head. Such as, "What if I want to go for a walk and they didn't bring walking shoes?" and "What if they don't speak English?" and "How will they get here if they don't have a car?". These questions are extremely important to her and she can't let it rest until she has a satisfying answer. Unfortunately, she doesn't understand the answers, so she doesn't let it rest.

By the way, my mother was a home support worker for almost 20 years, up until she had breast cancer 5 years ago and retired shortly after recovering from it. This makes it all extra complicated! It makes her dwell on every possible detail. And it adds confusion -- during the conversations about this topic she ends up thinking that she is the home care worker and needs more information about "the client". She can't seem to wrap her head around the idea that she is the client.

She's also very confused about me again. She seems to think that somehow I am working as her home support worker. She asked me if I have a contract and if I've taken any courses. She asked me why I'm here and who assigned me to work for her.

That last question was quite troubling to me, because I had to explain again that I'm here because I'm her daughter and family takes care of each other and I want to help her because I love her. I really need to explain that? I can't help but feel hurt that she has to question my motivation for helping her.

Knowing that this conversation wouldn't go anywhere, I considered trying to change the subject or just extricate myself from it somehow. I knew I was in for a long, exhausting, pointless re-hash. But at the same time, these concerns are important to her and I really think her feelings need to be acknowledged and respected. So I went through it all again with her, with both of us not really understanding what the other was saying, and finally finishing with no further clarity than when we begun. I just hope it helped somehow and it wasn't completely in vain.