Cutting the Apron Strings?

I think we're actually moving on.

AC and I finally had a chance to go back to my mother's place and get all the remaining things from her house. Now the only reason we need to go back would be because we want to.

And good news from my sister: She has a lot of days off in the next 6 weeks and told me that she'll take the opportunity to take care of all the mom-related stuff during that time so that me and AC can take a real break from it. She's going to supervise the new live-in caregivers and handle any problems and questions they may have. I think this is finally true respite for us! It's a little hard to believe it's finally here!

For this reason, I may not have a lot of updates about my mother for awhile as we take some time to ourselves.

Judging by my mother's dirty looks toward me when we came to get the last of our things, I think she's also very happy to see less of me. I hope that having only two caregivers will give her the consistency and routine that she needs.

I think I've mentioned previously that I've been seeing a therapist. A big concern is that all the stress and pressure of the last year puts me at a greater risk for post-partum depression. I want to do whatever I can to avoid that and be the best mom possible for my little boy and enjoy having a little family together.

Having lived so reclusively while caring for my mom, and having so few opportunities for social, creative and physical outlets during that time has put both me and AC in a weird place. We are now "free" to live our own lives, but we've forgotten how! We haven't been able to maintain our outside friendships or develop new ones. We don't have any favourite places to hang out or regular activities that we do. Our personal lives have basically atrophied. It's very unhealthy.

So I've been given strict instructions to seek out "self-care" activities. These include visiting with friends, going on outings, getting regular exercise, eating well, sleeping well, having couple time, having alone time, and having fun (I sure like the idea of doctor-prescribed fun!).

I've also been instructed to work on my boundaries and become a better delegator. I need to take on less responsibility and be able to say "no" more often. AC needs a lot of these things also, of course. We're trying to figure out how to get back into the swing of things, but it's remarkable how hard it is to do so when you've had such a small stressful world for so long.

I mention these things because I think it's important for people to know how caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's can affect you. I have never had psychological problems before, but these days I feel really very messed up -- to the point that I can't recover on my own and need professional help. And I want all the help I can get because our baby deserves a happy family and a healthy start to his new life.