Setting Up the New Live-Ins

It's been two weeks now since my mom has had her live-in care. We hired 2 ladies. I'll call them "HC" and "MG".

It took awhile to find and confirm MG, which meant that me and AC had to return to stay with my mom for a few days during HC's days off. But MG begins her first day today, so I am keeping all my fingers and toes crossed that they will both work out nicely and we won't have to go back and stay with her anymore.

Moving into our new place has been tiring. We still haven't been able to unpack everything, as there's still some stuff at my mother's house, and being 6 months pregnant I can't lift anything heavy, so I'm not much help.

We've been so entrenched in my mom's care this past year that we haven't really maintained or built any friendships enough to know whom to ask to help us out. We're just bringing home a few things back every time we drop in at my mom's place...but we've tried not to drop in too often so that my mom and her new caregivers can be left alone to develop their relationship and routine.

Plus, of course, my mom still despises me and doesn't really like me to be around. She doesn't say hello to me and gives me dirty looks. Her comments are terse. This makes me so sad. But I am also tremendously grateful for the break away from her, and will be absolutely thrilled to finally re-establish my own life with AC again.

Aside from just having our own space and time again, I no longer have to put so much energy into putting on a "front". Living with her, I was never able to show my hurt feelings when she was being mean or critical towards me, and I always had to walk on eggshells with every conversation and interaction. Everything about my life revolved around keeping the peace and trying not to agitate her. It's so incredibly draining to live that way! That's probably the best thing about moving out to our own place.

This transition has been hard for my mom. HC reported that my mom has had a lot of anxious episodes since she arrived. She's been confused about who is staying with her and for how long. I expect that MG will experience the same for her first few days. But I also expect that as soon as they establish some consistency, my mom will be a lot more centred and able to relax. This is what she's really been needing.

Wish us luck that this all works out!