Just checking in

I haven't written here for awhile because I have no news.

A co-worker asked me today how my mom and her new caregivers are working out. I said "I have no idea!" and realized how good it felt to say that.

For my own mental health I have been advised by more than one professional to distance myself from my mother for a good long stretch, allowing my siblings to take over the supervision of things at her house. So far this has been working wonderfully.

Letting go can be difficult. I still catch myself wanting to check in and take care of things, but I stop myself, knowing that my brother and sister are perfectly capable of handling it, and knowing that we have set up a really good care situation for our mother.

I admit my mental and physical health has really deteriorated during the time AC & I cared for my mother. I am noticing it especially now that I'm 6 1/2 months pregnant and wishing I was healthier and less anxious.

Having had no time to exercise or have a social or creative outlet for 11 months has made my physical and mental state not exactly ideal for having a baby. I'm a bit worried that all this may affect my being able to be the best parent I can possibly be. But having AC in my life (along with continued therapy!) will hopefully get me back on track.

I do look forward to a time when I can start visiting my mother again and we'll both enjoy it -- likely when I bring along her newest grandson!

And in the spirit of the Thanksgiving season, I should add how grateful I am that I do have siblings that can take over the responsibilities. Not everyone has that luxury.