Another bad episode (Part 1)

I'm back again at my mother's house, intervening on an emergency. Yesterday she became so confused and suspicious that she loudly gave the heave-ho to HC, her live-in caregiver, and locked her out of the house!

She has been having recurring and more frequent delusions, as well as increased anxiety, in inability to recognize what time of day it is, thinking that there are other people in the house when they are not, and not understanding that she is in her own home. Most frequently she seems to worry about "the children" and where they are, as well as thinking someone is taking her house away. Her short-term memory retention is almost non-existent.

The caregivers report that she is also refusing to eat and drink most things, and has been trying to take walks by herself after dark at all hours. 

Having been mostly out of the loop with regard to her wellbeing for about 8 weeks, I can see the extreme downturn and I'm alarmed. She is much worse now than she has ever been -- even before she started her medication.

As I have mentioned, I'm currently under psychiatric care, largely related to the stress and depression that resulted from caring for my mother over the past year, and I was supposed to keep a distance from being involved with her care. But when yesterday's emergency came up, my sister was not able to respond so I had to go.

After the last episode she had (when she ran off on MG and wouldn't come home), I assumed my sister  would report it to AW, our Nurse Case Manager, who always responds with good advice and makes excellent medical recommendations. Not to mention, she needs to be aware of these things so that she can stay on top of my mother's condition. But my sister never called her, and now we have another out-of-control situation on our hands. I would be angry, but I'm not able to be. I have put up the wall. I am emotionless.

I took today off work to try to coordinate things. I'm hopeful to get a doctor appointment for her today, but realize it's unlikely at this short notice. I have to get e refill on her medication (she seems to have hidden it somewhere!) and it looks like she needs more groceries too.

Other little things...clipping her fingernails, fixing a broken light, getting her hair cut. She needs help with all this and no one else has been doing it. These are the kinds of things that the family needs to stay on top of, and during my "hiatus" they haven't, and it's hard for me to see it.

The obvious realization for all of us is that she is ready for a care home. Now it's undeniable. We had all hoped it wouldn't happen so fast, but it is. I think an adjustment to her medication will help in the mean time, but it won't delay the inevitable.

With my baby's due date only 7 weeks away, I have a suspicion that we will have to deal with taking her out of her house smack in the middle of the time when my baby is born. Although I dread the double-whammy of emotional challenges, perhaps it will be my free pass to excuse myself from the whole unpleasant process. On the other hand, I deeply fear it will interfere with my being able to enjoy the birth of and connection to my new little son. I admit I already feel quite resentful about the impact my mother's illness has had on my pregnancy so far -- and on top of that is the guilt of feeling that way.
...but these are all issues I'm working through with my therapist, and I won't drone on about them here.

My mother is still sleeping, and although I need a nap myself, I have more calls to make. It's only 9:30am and I'm already exhausted! I'm hoping that my mom will let HC come back today. We're going to try.